This article is a submission for the Ayahuasca Awareness Program, an initiative by the Spirit Vine Center in Brazil. The program aims to help increase awareness of the potential of ayahuasca by sponsoring free ayahuasca retreats every month for people who feel the call for spiritual development with ayahuasca and other methods.

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My Journey!

I have experienced/learnt about majority of these topics: Consciousness, Meditation, Spirituality, Organic living apart from trying an Ayahuasca retreat. I believe all of the above does have its benefits in everyone’s lives, although I do believe that some are more suited to others.

My main area that I am really curious about is the mind body connection. Whether we want to believe it or not, we create our reality, we are responsible for the way we feel and any illness within our body. We create all of this. We can heal ourselves but sometimes we may need outer help which I can admit to that I do need. I know plenty of information but sometimes that is not enough when trying to heal deep blockages within yourself.

My journey with spirituality all started around 2015 in Australia. From then until now I have experienced a lot. What I have took from my journey is that everything I have experienced has been beneficial to me whether I realized it or not. The best part was learning about myself.

I have suffered mental health for a long time but the good thing is that since being involved with the spiritual side of things that I’m not blind to it, I can acknowledge and accept that I have had a tough life mentally. Constantly fighting battles within myself to get up out of bed, to go do things I have passion for, Push myself to do things, give myself motivation, changing how I perceive the world and people and questioning my self worth. It feels hard because all my life I have been programmed to act speak behave in a way and shut down certain emotions, be in denial of how I feel and carry on, but them feelings always come back for me to resolve in different situations. I can see that now since my knowledge has expanded.

At times I feel like it was a bad decision to get into spirituality. Due to the phases and emotions I was feeling, I felt that “this isn’t right”, “I feel worse”. But truth is I had to go through them phases to move onto my next chapter, bearing in mind if I resolved them or not it will show back up to resolve. As time goes on I wonder was it all worth it to go through so much pain within myself. To experience changes with myself that made me feel weird, isolated and alone. I look back at times when I had a bad day of where my mental health was at a low when I didn’t have the knowledge back then, I would blame, have self pity, I wouldn’t take responsibility for how I felt. Now when I have those days I know its down to me, its my choice how I act, react, feel, interpret. I take responsibility for my life. It gives relief, like a weight of my shoulders not blaming others for my problems. From this I have been able to observe others, understand them better and know that how they are is a reflection of what’s going on inside of them,everyone has there own limitations and fighting there own battles. It can also be a reflection as to what I need to look at within myself.

If I never got into the spiritual side of life I would be moving through life with no understanding of what I was experiencing, why I was experiencing it and most importantly changing it for the better. It does take time to unravel your life so you can see how it has been affecting you. It is a journey that needs to be traveled to understand life a little bit more. To know that when you start feeling feelings, you can have an understanding of why your feeling this way and come up with a plan to change the normal cycle you are always finding yourself in. This does take practice and time.

The body is a great communicator, if you listen it will show you. My body tells me if something is up with me, I know when I’m stressed and the affects it has on my body. Foods I eat my body tells me it’s no good.

I’ve held onto beliefs and limitations that I acquired many years ago that I now realize is no good for me, so now its time to take action to let them go. I find its that time in my life to take a different approach and try Ayahuasca, From what I have learnt about Ayahuasca this may help me remove limitations within myself that I am ready to let go off, that has been with me for far too long. I admit that I do need to receive help from another source, as I have tried solo removing these limitations/ blockages and have yet to succeed.

Spirituality gives more hope and excitement in life. Meditation helps bring peace within your body.

I am still  fighting my inner battles everyday, I fail a lot at successfully resolving them but I do know I will get another chance to heal and I will continue trying. I have suffered mental health for a very long time. Days I give up on life and days I’m ready to go after my dreams. A bit like a roller coaster. Believing there is a better life I can be living gives me hope and helps me in times of need. My eyes have been opened up more than what they used to be 10 years ago and its much better this way even though I have to face a lot more darkness but as my journey continues on, my life and health will improve for the better . I prefer to be unique and live a life of happiness and not a life of normality and misery, so I choose to do whatever I can to achieve the level where I choose love over fear subconsciously and to be free from my shadows.

Author: Amanda Mccauley

My name is Amanda. I am 29 years old from Northern Ireland. I have a great passion for travelling and intend to explore many parts of the world. I have been to Australia, New Zealand, Fiji, Africa, Thailand and America. I am a kind, honest, friendly person. I would say I am quite spontaneous, as I love the last minute plans to do something exciting. I love helping others as best as I can in any way that I can. I love to learn and try new things. Some interests I have are listening to music,walks, socializing, Movies , Poi, and spending time with my mum.

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