This article is a submission for the Ayahuasca Awareness Program, an initiative by the Spirit Vine Center in Brazil. The program aims to help increase awareness of the potential of ayahuasca by sponsoring free ayahuasca retreats every month for people who feel the call for spiritual development with ayahuasca and other methods.

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To the bereaving of my soul (these days of my abandons)

As far as I can remember my greatest fear has been to be abandoned. When I was younger I was scared to death in the dark. My nights were haunted by strangers that were determined  to take me out, out my bed, out of my home. What if they left? My mum, my dad, my family ? What if they decided to leave me alone, in this house? I was terrified. Too young and too shy to expose my fears I just had to deal with my demons. A tremendous burden of fear for a little girl. I needed extra support and attention and during my teenage years it turned really bad as I developed a food disorder, an effort to make myself … visible… The more weight you loose the more people are starring at you. I fight with those disorders for about 10 years. I was testing my body as a destruction for my mind, would it abandoned me if I push it to the limit? 

Once my food addiction was finished it was replaced with another and drugs come into my life offering a “release” to my food problems. Metamphetamine also called speed allows you not to eat, not to sleep and drive you to serious break down. I was young and thought I was free I didn’t have any ideas of how I treat my body, how I treat my soul. I was obsessed by drugs, parties and escaping from the routine world.

Then I met him : tall, blond, funny, beautiful and held a similar philosophy on drugs.

We were both blinded by each other bliss, we put ourselves in lots of trouble but we were also strong together. I continue to think that I just needed him at that time and he just needed me. We were complete and I was so far from myself, existing somewhere in between Alice in wonderland and bloody hell. 

After eight years he finally left me, twice…and I fell appart in a living nightmare. I cried, I prayed, I screamed… The rollercoaster of emotion just started and my heart ❤️ get smashed in an infinite loop. Luckily I was surrounded by very good friends and 4 years ago when he left me the first time I found a profound guidance in yoga. At that time yoga had been slowly weaving it’s way into my life. I started to think a little out of the box and wanted to take care of my body and begin healing my soul and spirit. When he finally left me my life continued but inside I was completely broke. I went to psychotherapy and doctors who wanted to treat me with western médecine and antidepressants but I didn’t want to enter another addiction so I turned to medecin that were closer to my everyday yoga life. As a music lover I went to music therapy, I worked on chakras with stones, saw astrologue, and ventured down the avenue of Neurofeedback research.

I became attached to the practice of yoga and sports in general, long talks with my friends, no more drugs and meditation.

I listened more to myself but still there remained a void as I felt utterly alone.

During those last years all this different approaches made me aware that a different world connected with natural energies is lying there so close.

I’ve been vegetarian for 15 years and now I know that you heal yourself following alternative medicine or principles that have been practiced for millennia.

On the 7th of July I will turned 35 and I hope to find ease and peace with myself entering your retreat.

I leave in hope of soon sharing in your and ancestors knowledge.


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Spirit Vine COVID-19 Update

Last Updated: 9th August 2022

We have established guidelines to ensure that we provide the maximum amount of safety to all participants who attend the retreats.

We are following the guidelines provided by the Brazilian government which you can find below and have added some necessary precautions suitable for the retreats.

In the Itacare area, where we are located, there are very low number of COVID cases.

We will update this section when new information is available.
Content listed here is subject to change.

If you have any questions, please contact us.

Brazilian Government Recommendations for COVID-19

The current guidelines from the Brazilian government state that anyone who wants to enter Brazil must present a Covid vaccine certificate. You do not need to take any other vaccines to enter Brazil. These guidelines may change in the future.

Travelers must also fill out an affidavit 24 hours before departure acknowledging the health measures that must be complied with during the period that they will remain in the country. You can find the affidavit here.

Prior to leaving Brazil, depending on the requirements of your destination country, you may be required to present an RT-PCR or Antigen test. If you need a PCR test we recommend you to budget the required time of 6 hours to take the test and get the results at Sao Paulo Guarulhos airport. Antigen test can be taken in the town of Itacare near our center before you go to the airport or at the airport in Sao Paulo.

Please note that Itacare and Ilheus do not have RT-PCR testing centers.

Spirit Vine Guidelines for COVID-19

We require that vaccination must be done at least 2 months prior to drinking ayahuasca. This is for the safety of participants to make sure the vaccine doesn’t have any reaction with the ingestion of ayahuasca. 

We also require all visitors to provide a valid Covid-19 test prior to entering the Center. The Antigen test is only valid for 24 hours and PCR test is only valid for 72 hours. A valid negative test result must be sent by email prior to entering the Center.