This article is a submission for the Ayahuasca Awareness Program, an initiative by the Spirit Vine Center in Brazil. The program aims to help increase awareness of the potential of ayahuasca by sponsoring free ayahuasca retreats every month for people who feel the call for spiritual development with ayahuasca and other methods.

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Being Spiritual or Spiritual Being?

Spirituality, to me, means the understanding that EVERYTHING is energy and we are all connected. Every person I meet is just another perspective of myself. Our souls are all growing, in the illusion of time, through our lessons and our perspectives of this life experience.
I believe that all religions hold some truth ; but when you try to put God, or LOVE energy in a box, called religion, and say; “believe this or else!”, it goes against FREE WILL. We are all a Spark of the Divine and God wouldn’t limit himself that way. The word ,God, is very misunderstood and misinterpreted. REAL religion comes from within.

God isn’t something external. It’s a part of you.

Sixteen months ago, I had an experience of being in a void, or nothingness, and I have never felt such peace. It just felt GOOD. Then, I felt an overwhelming energy of PURE LOVE and ONENESS with everything. I’ve never experienced that kind of extasy with ANY drug. The experience changed my life. At first, it was disorienting. I felt like everything was foggy and not REAL. Like I was watching everything happening from a distance. I became fascinated and passionate about meditation. This experience was a fundamental shift in my reality so I joined a Buddhists sangha and did shadow work, dark night of the soul,and death of self. It’s truly been a Rollercoaster of allowing and releasing this year. I don’t think I ever really knew ME. I am getting to know self and higher self and my goal is to get to that place where there’s not so much difference between the two. A place of equanimity.

I do breathwork and Reiki and not only do I feel the energy of others but I SEE it. I started seeing colors around people after a LONG meditation with Gaia. I’m always trying new meditations and exercises to strengthen this.

Being Spiritual means that I am constantly working on my character defects and limiting beliefs that hold me back. I am excited and eager to do the work. I want to build and expand my connection to God Love. Complacency is just laziness. If I’m not moving forward in my growth, then I’m going backwards; because energy is always in motion. Impermanence is the First characteristic of EVERYTHING..
Dr. Joe Dispenza talks alot about quantum fields and rewiring the brain and this fascinates me. My beliefs, habits, environment, education, ect leaves grooves like snow ski trails in my brain. It’s easy to just stay in that familiar thinking. DMT is naturally made in our body by the pineal gland. It allows us to jump the groove into new snow; New ways of thinking. The problem is that we’re all so clogged, blocked, and calcified that we don’t feel it.

An ayahuasca retreat is something I’ve longed to do since a friend told me of their experience with it. I’ve read tons about the process, chemistry, and the drug. It’s important to me that I have a FULL experience with a Shaman. Just trying psychedelics on my own doesn’t interest me. I REALLY want to connect and understand. I’ve tried past life regressions and readings. I can’t be hypnotized and the VIVID dreams I used to have disappeared after my experience with nothingness. I have so many questions why? I think ayahuasca might help me understand more and I want to feel the connection and oneness with earth.

A Spiritual Being is one who understands the trinity of Mind, Body, Spirit. When all three are balanced and in harmony together, a person has a full realization of one’s self. There is no limit to what is possible at that moment. I am so grateful for what has happened in my life to wake me up and I’m passionate about life now. I look forward to an incredible retreat.

Written by Crystal Drummonds for the Ayahuasca Awareness Program

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